Blogging Reboot

I was full of good intentions when I started this blog. My plan was to write at least one entry a week, sharing updates and research that I had done but boy, have I really failed at achieving that goal.
So... I'm going to start over with more realistic goals. What they are yet I don't exactly know but I'll eventually figure them out.
Previously I know part of the issue was I was working a full time job and didn't really have time to devote to do the research and the writing. There seemed to be not enough time to do everything that I wanted to do but I believe closer to the truth is I had no real idea as to where to begin. To add to it I have a little trouble focusing on one project for any length of time before getting bored and finding something else to occupy my attention. There's also the issue with procrastination which I have it bad. I'm a big time procrastinator.
My intentions with this blog was simply to find a way to force myself to adjust bad habits and walk a new path. My problem was I didn't really know where to start. I still feel that I can accomplish what I set out to do only not in the manner I originally thought.

Lesson in Self Loathing

No one likes being fat, then again, maybe I assuming too much. There are some out there who claim that they enjoy being overweight. Maybe they are telling the truth or maybe they are lying to themselves and the world around them. I don’t know, all I know is how I feel. Personally, I don’t care for it, never have, never will.
The problem is I’ve gone from being overweight to OBESE and not just obese but MORBIDLY OBESE and I’m miserable in my body. I know how people look at me and judge me. Its nothing that I haven’t done to myself or even to others. I can honestly admit I’ve looked at other obese people and judged them. Wondering how they can be comfortable at such a size. Judging how or what they have done in their lives to make themselves that size. In my mind I have justified this thinking I’m fat I have a right but in reality I don’t because I am no better than they are.

If truth be known I’m reflecting my own critical thoughts about myself onto these people. They are simply a mirror image of myself, which is fitting because none of the mirrors in my home show what I look like from mid chest down. This has made it easier to ignore my growing problem. The If-I-can’t-see-it-its-not-true mentality I’ve had obviously doesn’t work.

I have found myself in the past year changing the way I look at other overweight people. If I see another woman about my height and weight I find that I have started thinking, “Is that what I look like?” I honestly don’t know if this is really any better than what I was doing before but I would like to think it is a step in the right direction. Rather than judge others my goal is to simply understand what they are going through which is easier said than done.

I feel that most people assume that someone that is overweight is simply lazy, eats too much or just doesn’t care about themselves. That isn’t always the case because the problem could actually be something that has contributed to their physical issues. In my attempt to educate myself in dealing with my own health issues and how to deal with them. I have learned that there are a litany of illnesses that can cause a weight problem. In addition many medications can compound the problems of weight gain and loss.

After learning about these contributing factors I realized that there is so much more involved in a person’s weight other than being lazy or eating too much. This is where I feel that people need to stop and think before they judge the overweight person as they pass by. You don’t know if that person is on a medication that causes weight gain, if they have a disease that makes it hard for them to lose weight, or someone who was in an accident or something else that may have limited their mobility which contributed to their weight gain.
I am not giving a “get out of jail free” card to those that may have one of these issues. They are still responsible for taking the steps to find out if there is a health problem that needs to be addressed. I’m simply saying that we as a society shouldn’t judge every person that walks past simply because they don’t fit into the “size” that society has deemed to be the correct one.

New Year, New Begining

Happy New Year!

For many the new year marks another opportunity to begin anew. Resolutions made with good intentions usually never make it to the end of the month let only live to become a life changing experience.
I am not making a resolution by starting this blog. It is something that I had been thinking of doing for quite some time now. I just chose today to become zero point. I can either go forward into a positive line of living from today or move backwards along the line into the negative.
I hope that while writing this I not only find a way to inspire my self along the positive plane but to also inspire others to do the same.

I look forward to sharing, both the positives and negatives, of this journey with all of you.